Prep the pan: Line a 9x13-inch baking pan with parchment, leaving overhang for easy lifting. If using mini muffin pans, line with paper liners.
Preheat oven to 325°F (165°C).
Make the crust: Pulse 24 Oreos in a food processor until fine crumbs form. Stir in melted butter, sugar, and a pinch of salt. Press firmly into an even layer in the prepared pan (or divide among muffin cups).
Bake for 8 minutes. Let cool slightly.
Beat the cream cheese: In a large bowl, beat softened cream cheese on medium speed until very smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Scrape the bowl.
Add sugar and eggs: Beat in sugar until combined.
Add eggs one at a time on low speed, mixing just until incorporated. Do not overbeat.
Finish the batter: Mix in sour cream, vanilla, and salt until smooth. Fold in chopped Oreos.
Fill and bake: Pour the batter over the crust and smooth the top.
Bake at 325°F for 22–28 minutes (12–16 minutes for mini muffins), until the edges are set and the center has a slight wobble. Avoid browning on top.
Cool completely: Turn off the oven, crack the door, and let the cheesecake cool inside for 10 minutes to prevent cracking. Transfer to a rack and cool to room temperature.
Chill: Cover and refrigerate for at least 3 hours, preferably overnight, until very firm.
Cut and shape: Lift the chilled slab from the pan using the parchment.
Use a small oval cookie cutter or a knife to cut football shapes. For mini muffins, gently remove each bite from the liner and reshape into a slight oval with your hands if needed. Keep pieces chilled as you work.
Melt chocolate: In a microwave-safe bowl, heat semisweet chocolate chips with coconut oil in 20–30 second bursts, stirring between each, until smooth and glossy.
Coat the bites: Dip each cheesecake oval into the melted chocolate using a fork.
Tap off excess. Place on a parchment-lined tray. Refrigerate 10–15 minutes to set.
Add laces: Melt white chocolate in short bursts.
Transfer to a piping bag or zip-top bag with a tiny corner snipped. Pipe one horizontal line across the center and 3–4 short vertical lines to mimic football laces.
Chill and serve: Refrigerate until the chocolate is firm. Serve cold or slightly chilled for the best texture.